Speculations on Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

A few months ago, before Rogue One was released, I published a post on Facebook detailing my apprehensions about the upcoming film. Now that the movie has been released, I've decided to repost my original thoughts here. Here are (were) my concerns:

1.) Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones) has a huge attitude problem. In the trailer, Mon Mothma describes Jyn as "reckless, aggressive, and undisciplined", to which Jyn shoots back an impudent "This is a rebellion isn't it? I rebel." Later, in response to a question from what looks like a superior officer, Jyn gives a very surly and disrespectful "Yes, sir". Maybe it was just the way the trailer was cut, but I don't think so. That being said, I have zero interest in seeing a movie about a lone-wolf heroine who thinks she's too cool for the Rebel Alliance and was only recruited because the Rebellion is desperate. Even if she ends up having a character arc in which she discovers that there are things more important than herself, we've already seen that in Han Solo (who was much more likeable from the start). I'd much rather see a movie about a heroic group of individuals who are willing to put their lives on the line to stand up and fight against tyranny for the good of the galaxy, in total alignment with Rebellion ideals.

2.) The tone is too dark. Star Wars is known to be dark on occasion (Empire Strikes Back, The Force Awakens) but it is always, ALWAYS, balanced by a sense of wide-eyed wonderment at getting to experience such a huge universe. (If you don't believe me, go rewatch the asteroid belt sequence from Empire or Finn and Rey's escape from Jakku in The Force Awakens.) Conversely, this movie feels like it's trying to mimic the tone of The Dark Knight, just like Star Trek Into Darkness tried to mimic it in 2013. I kept expecting to hear Benedict Cumberbatch doing a voiceover "Darkness is coming... you think your world is safe..." and to see the Millennium Falcon crashing to the ground trailing black smoke. There was also a scene with beach warfare that looked more like Saving Private Ryan than Star Wars. This Russian poster (http://tinyurl.com/jew3rtv), accompanied by the headline "This Russian Rogue One Poster Puts the War in Star Wars", really says it all.

3.) No John Williams. Rogue One will be the first live-action Star Wars movie to not be scored by John Williams. Instead, the music for this movie is being composed by some guy named Alexandre Desplat. Not only does his name sound like a tablespoon of mayonnaise hitting the sidewalk but, judging from what we've heard so far, he's not even trying to come up with anything original or innovative. Even after the huge success of the original Star Wars soundtrack in 1977, John Williams didn't rest on his laurels. He went on to compose the instantly classic Imperial March for Empire Strikes Back and then other instantly recognizable tunes such as Kylo Ren's theme from Episode VII, Duel of the Fates from Episode I, or Across the Stars from Episode II. Mr. Desplat, on the other hand, appears to have opted for re-orchestrated covers of already established John Williams themes. They sound pretty much like the originals except, you guessed it, *darker*. (And occasionally mixed with a blaring siren, for good measure.)

4.) Fan Service. The most recent (I think) trailer ends with a shot of Darth Vader activating his light saber in slow motion. This shot lasts for a full 15 seconds. 15 seconds. Of Darth Vader activating a light saber. I don't mind Darth Vader being in the movie, but only if he contributes to the plot in a meaningful way. I'm worried that Darth Vader will be crammed into a movie where he doesn't belong just because the filmmakers decided "Oh, we *have* to put in Vader!". We've all seen what happens when a new movie sacrifices originality in order to cram in as many needless references as possible to older (and better) subject matter. (I'm looking at you Star Trek Into Darkness, and The Hobbit trilogy).

5.) Mr. Miyagi. The trailer shows a scene (twice) that features an oriental-looking man, wearing what looks like a karate gi, beating up stormtroopers ninja-style with a wooden staff. Now, I have nothing against ninjas, but they have no place in a Star Wars movie. That's why we have Jedi. Who knows, maybe he is a Jedi and he just didn't have a light saber. For whatever reason, the fact that he didn't have a light saber really bothered me. Call me crazy. To be fair, he could be using a fighting style found in the (now apocryphal) EU that hasn't yet been seen on the main screen. However, to be more fair, I don't really care about the EU, and 95% of the audience won't either. The EU gets pretty weird guys. Shots fired, I know. Crucify me later. Finally, to be completely fair, Kylo Ren's "cross-guard saber" really bothered me too when I first saw the Star Wars VII teaser, but I ended up loving that movie.

Tangled (2010)

Tangled, Disney's latest animated achievement, may surprise you. The film is a re-telling of the age-old story of Rapunzel, the princess locked away in a tower; however, the story is smartly re-imagined in a way that reinvents the “Disney Princess” genre. This film does not feature a persecuted princess, pining like a bird in a cage while her charming, virtuous, and unrealistically ideal prince battles valiantly with a treacherous, desperately evil witch. Instead, Rapunzel is a quirky, intelligent, and creative girl who just wants to see the world, her prince, while still charming, is actually not a prince: he is a wanted thief with a less than charming name: Eugene Fitzherbert, and the witch, whom Eugene never really fights, is a plain old woman with no magical powers at all who wishes to selfishly use the regenerative virtues of Rapunzel's hair to keep herself forever young. All-in-all, the film is greatly successful in portraying a cast of believable characters who interact with each other in realistic ways. In addition, the magical and fantastic elements of the story (such as Rapunzel's magical hair) are used primarily as devices to progress the plot in small, necessary ways rather than as the driving force behind the film. This is not to say that the film lacks magic. Tangled delivers all of the enchantment, romance, comedy and adventure that has become a hallmark of Disney films in the past few decades, while simultaneously treating audiences to a welcome array of heart-felt human emotion. Honestly, this film was a lot better than I expected it to be. Give it a try.

MPAA: Rated PG for brief mild violence.

Gremlins (1984)

Gremlins, produced by Hollywood guru Steven Spielberg and directed by Joe Dante of Small Soldiers fame, is an instant classic. Complete with wide-eyed cuddly little creatures that transform into diabolical imps when you feed them after midnight, plenty of wanton destruction, and a healthy dose of Christmas spirit, the film's merits include a refreshingly original story, a generous helping of hilarious thrills, and a lovable, albiet twisted and disturbing charm.

Rated PG

Tron (1982)

A unique film with innovative graphics. Very strange, but a lot of fun.

Rated PG

Bedtime Stories (2008)

This is one of those lesser know Disney movies; at least, before tonight, I had never heard of it. In the movie, Skeeter Bronson (Adam Sandler) agrees to babysit his niece and nephew, Bobbi and Patrick, while his sister, the children's mother, is job searching. In subsequent days, strange events begin to occur which oddly coincide with events in the bedtime stories that Skeeter has been telling the children each night. Skeeter, concluding that whatever stories he tells to the children will come true, attempts to use his new found talent for personal gain. However, there is one slight error in his theory: it is not his stories, but rather the stories that the children invent for themselves that end up coming true. This is a fun and light-hearted movie. If you're looking for some laughs and a good time for an hour and forty minutes, give it a try.

MPAA: Rated PG for some mild rude humor and mild language.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

If you're going to watch this movie, watch it for the special effects. After all, who doesn't want to watch giant transforming robots battling each other to the death over the fate of planet Earth? In Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen we get to see just that. Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) has graduated from High School and moved on to college. However, before he can even get through one day of class, his life is interrupted by his Autobot friends as they once more enlist his help in battling the Decepticons. Overall, this movie is entertaining and fun to watch. There are lots of explosions and destruction, even if there is really not much depth to the characters or plot.

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, language, some crude and sexual material, and brief drug material.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! (1978)

Famously, marvelously bad! Despite losing the title of "Worst Vegetable Movie" to Attack of the Mushroom People in Harry and Michael Medved's Golden Turkey Awards, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes deserves a mention. This film, a product of the late 1970s, is a spoof on B-Movies. The plot, as the title indicates, is about a ravenous horde of killer tomatoes that terrorize the population of the United States. While it is unclear exactly how the tomatoes kill (the deaths are never shown on-screen) it is apparent that the small red vegetables (technically fruits) are quite deadly. The President and the Army, unsure of what course of action to take, decide to bring in a team of specialists to combat the "growing tomato menace." This team, led by protagonist Mason Dixon, sets out immediately to deal with the problem at hand. They are tailed by young and intrepid reporter Lois Fairchild, who is seeking to cover the tomato story. Chaos predictably ensues and, just when victory is out of sight, Dixon discovers a way to defeat the tomatoes. Oh, happy day!

Rated PG