Speculations on Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

A few months ago, before Rogue One was released, I published a post on Facebook detailing my apprehensions about the upcoming film. Now that the movie has been released, I've decided to repost my original thoughts here. Here are (were) my concerns:

1.) Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones) has a huge attitude problem. In the trailer, Mon Mothma describes Jyn as "reckless, aggressive, and undisciplined", to which Jyn shoots back an impudent "This is a rebellion isn't it? I rebel." Later, in response to a question from what looks like a superior officer, Jyn gives a very surly and disrespectful "Yes, sir". Maybe it was just the way the trailer was cut, but I don't think so. That being said, I have zero interest in seeing a movie about a lone-wolf heroine who thinks she's too cool for the Rebel Alliance and was only recruited because the Rebellion is desperate. Even if she ends up having a character arc in which she discovers that there are things more important than herself, we've already seen that in Han Solo (who was much more likeable from the start). I'd much rather see a movie about a heroic group of individuals who are willing to put their lives on the line to stand up and fight against tyranny for the good of the galaxy, in total alignment with Rebellion ideals.

2.) The tone is too dark. Star Wars is known to be dark on occasion (Empire Strikes Back, The Force Awakens) but it is always, ALWAYS, balanced by a sense of wide-eyed wonderment at getting to experience such a huge universe. (If you don't believe me, go rewatch the asteroid belt sequence from Empire or Finn and Rey's escape from Jakku in The Force Awakens.) Conversely, this movie feels like it's trying to mimic the tone of The Dark Knight, just like Star Trek Into Darkness tried to mimic it in 2013. I kept expecting to hear Benedict Cumberbatch doing a voiceover "Darkness is coming... you think your world is safe..." and to see the Millennium Falcon crashing to the ground trailing black smoke. There was also a scene with beach warfare that looked more like Saving Private Ryan than Star Wars. This Russian poster (http://tinyurl.com/jew3rtv), accompanied by the headline "This Russian Rogue One Poster Puts the War in Star Wars", really says it all.

3.) No John Williams. Rogue One will be the first live-action Star Wars movie to not be scored by John Williams. Instead, the music for this movie is being composed by some guy named Alexandre Desplat. Not only does his name sound like a tablespoon of mayonnaise hitting the sidewalk but, judging from what we've heard so far, he's not even trying to come up with anything original or innovative. Even after the huge success of the original Star Wars soundtrack in 1977, John Williams didn't rest on his laurels. He went on to compose the instantly classic Imperial March for Empire Strikes Back and then other instantly recognizable tunes such as Kylo Ren's theme from Episode VII, Duel of the Fates from Episode I, or Across the Stars from Episode II. Mr. Desplat, on the other hand, appears to have opted for re-orchestrated covers of already established John Williams themes. They sound pretty much like the originals except, you guessed it, *darker*. (And occasionally mixed with a blaring siren, for good measure.)

4.) Fan Service. The most recent (I think) trailer ends with a shot of Darth Vader activating his light saber in slow motion. This shot lasts for a full 15 seconds. 15 seconds. Of Darth Vader activating a light saber. I don't mind Darth Vader being in the movie, but only if he contributes to the plot in a meaningful way. I'm worried that Darth Vader will be crammed into a movie where he doesn't belong just because the filmmakers decided "Oh, we *have* to put in Vader!". We've all seen what happens when a new movie sacrifices originality in order to cram in as many needless references as possible to older (and better) subject matter. (I'm looking at you Star Trek Into Darkness, and The Hobbit trilogy).

5.) Mr. Miyagi. The trailer shows a scene (twice) that features an oriental-looking man, wearing what looks like a karate gi, beating up stormtroopers ninja-style with a wooden staff. Now, I have nothing against ninjas, but they have no place in a Star Wars movie. That's why we have Jedi. Who knows, maybe he is a Jedi and he just didn't have a light saber. For whatever reason, the fact that he didn't have a light saber really bothered me. Call me crazy. To be fair, he could be using a fighting style found in the (now apocryphal) EU that hasn't yet been seen on the main screen. However, to be more fair, I don't really care about the EU, and 95% of the audience won't either. The EU gets pretty weird guys. Shots fired, I know. Crucify me later. Finally, to be completely fair, Kylo Ren's "cross-guard saber" really bothered me too when I first saw the Star Wars VII teaser, but I ended up loving that movie.

Tangled (2010)

Tangled, Disney's latest animated achievement, may surprise you. The film is a re-telling of the age-old story of Rapunzel, the princess locked away in a tower; however, the story is smartly re-imagined in a way that reinvents the “Disney Princess” genre. This film does not feature a persecuted princess, pining like a bird in a cage while her charming, virtuous, and unrealistically ideal prince battles valiantly with a treacherous, desperately evil witch. Instead, Rapunzel is a quirky, intelligent, and creative girl who just wants to see the world, her prince, while still charming, is actually not a prince: he is a wanted thief with a less than charming name: Eugene Fitzherbert, and the witch, whom Eugene never really fights, is a plain old woman with no magical powers at all who wishes to selfishly use the regenerative virtues of Rapunzel's hair to keep herself forever young. All-in-all, the film is greatly successful in portraying a cast of believable characters who interact with each other in realistic ways. In addition, the magical and fantastic elements of the story (such as Rapunzel's magical hair) are used primarily as devices to progress the plot in small, necessary ways rather than as the driving force behind the film. This is not to say that the film lacks magic. Tangled delivers all of the enchantment, romance, comedy and adventure that has become a hallmark of Disney films in the past few decades, while simultaneously treating audiences to a welcome array of heart-felt human emotion. Honestly, this film was a lot better than I expected it to be. Give it a try.

MPAA: Rated PG for brief mild violence.

Gremlins (1984)

Gremlins, produced by Hollywood guru Steven Spielberg and directed by Joe Dante of Small Soldiers fame, is an instant classic. Complete with wide-eyed cuddly little creatures that transform into diabolical imps when you feed them after midnight, plenty of wanton destruction, and a healthy dose of Christmas spirit, the film's merits include a refreshingly original story, a generous helping of hilarious thrills, and a lovable, albiet twisted and disturbing charm.

Rated PG

Tron (1982)

A unique film with innovative graphics. Very strange, but a lot of fun.

Rated PG

Bedtime Stories (2008)

This is one of those lesser know Disney movies; at least, before tonight, I had never heard of it. In the movie, Skeeter Bronson (Adam Sandler) agrees to babysit his niece and nephew, Bobbi and Patrick, while his sister, the children's mother, is job searching. In subsequent days, strange events begin to occur which oddly coincide with events in the bedtime stories that Skeeter has been telling the children each night. Skeeter, concluding that whatever stories he tells to the children will come true, attempts to use his new found talent for personal gain. However, there is one slight error in his theory: it is not his stories, but rather the stories that the children invent for themselves that end up coming true. This is a fun and light-hearted movie. If you're looking for some laughs and a good time for an hour and forty minutes, give it a try.

MPAA: Rated PG for some mild rude humor and mild language.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

If you're going to watch this movie, watch it for the special effects. After all, who doesn't want to watch giant transforming robots battling each other to the death over the fate of planet Earth? In Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen we get to see just that. Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) has graduated from High School and moved on to college. However, before he can even get through one day of class, his life is interrupted by his Autobot friends as they once more enlist his help in battling the Decepticons. Overall, this movie is entertaining and fun to watch. There are lots of explosions and destruction, even if there is really not much depth to the characters or plot.

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, language, some crude and sexual material, and brief drug material.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! (1978)

Famously, marvelously bad! Despite losing the title of "Worst Vegetable Movie" to Attack of the Mushroom People in Harry and Michael Medved's Golden Turkey Awards, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes deserves a mention. This film, a product of the late 1970s, is a spoof on B-Movies. The plot, as the title indicates, is about a ravenous horde of killer tomatoes that terrorize the population of the United States. While it is unclear exactly how the tomatoes kill (the deaths are never shown on-screen) it is apparent that the small red vegetables (technically fruits) are quite deadly. The President and the Army, unsure of what course of action to take, decide to bring in a team of specialists to combat the "growing tomato menace." This team, led by protagonist Mason Dixon, sets out immediately to deal with the problem at hand. They are tailed by young and intrepid reporter Lois Fairchild, who is seeking to cover the tomato story. Chaos predictably ensues and, just when victory is out of sight, Dixon discovers a way to defeat the tomatoes. Oh, happy day!

Rated PG

1408 (2007)

Based on a short story by Stephen King, this film is predictably chilling. The namesake of the film is a supposedly haunted room in the Dolphin Hotel in New York City. Mike Enslin (John Cusack), the protagonist of the film, is a writer who documents such spooky locales as a living. He sets out to both disprove the 1408 haunting legend and to collect material for his next book in one fell swoop. However, in accordance with the classic horror movie formula, our hero ends up biting off more than he can chew and becomes eyewitness to more bone-chilling events than he could ever have wished for. The Room, 1408, takes Enslin on a journey of self discovery while doing a pretty good job of scaring the living crap out of him at the same time.

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for thematic material including disturbing sequences of violence and terror, frightening images and language.

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

When I first heard about this film I was, I must admit, a bit nervous. After all, adapting the essence of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's immortal stories into a single, feature-length film would be a daunting task for even a seasoned filmmaker. In spite of this, however, director Guy Ritchie has done just this and has delivered the goods in spades. Ritchie's film, simply titled Sherlock Holmes, just feels right. With a healthy smattering of secret societies, black magic, and mysterious murders, not to mention plenty of London fog, black umbrellas, and dimly glowing street lamps, the film creates the perfect atmosphere for the hero of the story, the indomitable Holmes, to exist in. Holmes himself is wonderfully portrayed by Robert Downy Jr. (Iron Man). Downy's performance brings an exiting new vigor and quirkiness to the Holmes character. In addition, Dr. John Watson and Irene Adler are played equally well by Jude Law and Rachel McAdams, respectively. The entire film is masterfully scored by Hans Zimmer. This movie is both entertaining and intriguing at the same time and I would highly recommend it to any Sherlock Holmes fan.

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, some startling images and a scene of suggestive material.

9 (2009)

Any full-length film that is based on a nine-minute animation is bound to be interesting. So interesting in fact, that I'm still not sure what to make of it, and it's been a month. 9 is a very surreal look into humanity's future in which the only remnant's of earth's dominant race exist in the form of nine small burlap dolls. The film will keep your interest, even if it is only because you are trying to figure out what is going on. However, where plot coherency fails, excellent graphic design picks up the slack.

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for violence and scary images.

The Lovely Bones (2009)

Directed by Peter Jackson, the man who so stunningly brought The Lord of the Rings to the big screen, The Lovely Bones is at least worth watching. The interesting plot revolves around Susie Salmon (yes, like the fish), a fourteen-year-old girl who is murdered by a man in the neighborhood. As an audience we get to see the devastating effects of the murder wrought upon Susie's family as well a few breath-taking glimpses into Susie's own personal afterlife. Vibrant colors, beautiful imagery and a moving score by Brian Eno all make The Lovely Bones worth a trip to the cinema.

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for mature thematic material involving disturbing violent content and images, and some language.

Avatar (2009)

While visually stunning (for the most part), this film does not pull any weight. The story-line is a combination of Disney's Pocahontas and the eco-friendly children's film Fern Gully.

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for intense epic battle sequences and warfare, sensuality, language and some smoking.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

Some teenagers investigate a "falling star" that seems to have landed near a small town; however, all they can find in the woods is a mysterious circus tent. Upon further investigation, the tent proves to be an alien spacecraft filled with hostile clown aliens who are bent upon trapping the entire town within cotton candy cocoons and drinking their blood with crazy straws!
Color | MGM

Rated PG-13

Red Eye (2005)

For Lisa Reisert (Rachel McAdams), a casual airport encounter with a charming man who introduces himself as Jackson Rippner becomes an acquaintance that she can't seem to shake. When she finds herself seated next to the mysterious stranger on the airplane, Lisa's ride quickly turns nightmarish.
Color | DreamWorks

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for some intense sequences of violence, and language.

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

With rousing action, a well-loved plot, and an all-star cast, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves is a five-star film. Kevin Costner, Morgan Freeman, and Alan Rickman deliver stunning performances. This film is great, mostly wholesome, family entertainment.
Color | Warner Bros.

Rated PG-13

The Ring Two (2005)

Based on the Japanese horror film Ringu 2 (the sequel to Ringu), this film is not to be reckoned with. Just kidding. The Ring Two, as a sequel, was naturally not as good as the first Ring film (which was no winner in itself). It had some good thrills and chills, but that's about it.
Color | DreamWorks

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for violence/terror, disturbing images, thematic elements and some language.

Pinky and the Brain Season 1 (1995 - 1996)

A gem among cheap cartoons. Each episode focuses on the efforts of two genetically altered lab mice to take over the world. What a great plot line! From Executive Producer Steven Spielberg, Pinky and the Brain is highly entertaining for both kids and adults. I definitely plan on watching Season 2! Narf!
Color | Warner Bros.

Return to Never Land (2002)

Walt Disney Pictures decides to make a sequel to the 1953 classic Peter Pan. Bad idea. Wendy has grown up and now has children of her own. Meanwhile, England is torn by World War II. Soon Captain Hook shows up in a flying pirate ship and abducts Wendy's daughter Jane. Throughout Jane's adventures in Never Land she learns the importance a Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust and that you should never grow up too fast. A real turkey.
Color | Walt Disney Pictures

Rated G

Jaws (1975)

A classic film from director Steven Spielberg. I'm surprised I hadn't seen it before now. A string of gristly deaths haunts the waters of Amity Island, one of New England's quaintest communities. It began with a woman, killed while swimming. Next, a young boy is snatched off of his inflatable rubber raft while paddling a bit too far out to sea. Quint, a local fisherman; Martin Brody, the Amity Police Chief; and Matt Hooper, an oceanography expert set out to investigate the possibility of a monster shark patrolling the waters near Amity. Their mission if the find anything: kill it.
Color | Universal Pictures

Rated PG

Up (2009)

When the elderly Carl Fredricksen gets sick and tired of living in the city he decides to fly away from all of it by tying thousands of helium balloons to his house. However, as soon as Mr. Fredricksen has taken off he discovers an uninvited guest on his front porch: Russell, a cheerful Wilderness Explorer scout whom Carl Fredricksen thought he had gotten rid of hours ago. A great movie for kids and families. Another hit from Pixar.
Color | Walt Disney Pixar

MPAA: Rated PG for some peril and action.